Sad Coffee (Jackpot January #19)

Is there any song called ‘Coffee’ which is not incredibly sad? Or at least downbeat?

I was racking my brains trying to think of examples. I was listening to ‘Coffee’ by Chappell Roan for the first time this morning, and it struck me that it was probably the saddest song on the album. ‘Coffee’ by Sylvan Esso then sprang to mind; not too sad but definitely downbeat/meditative. ‘Coffee’ by beabadoobee is probably the most famous coffee song, and it’s very sweet and lovely – but it also literally inspired another song called ‘death bed.’

Upon further research, the only song I could find which bucked the trend was ‘Coffee’ by a band called Supersister. It’s much more what I expected; a bouncy, campy song about love being like the buzz of a good Americano. And this is why I’ve restricted my search to songs called ‘Coffee’, not any song about the drink. One of 2024’s biggest hits was ‘Espresso’, a fun summer song drenched in sex and sleepless desire. And so maybe there are to different sides to a cuppa Joe (I’m running out of synonyms, can you tell?)

As someone who doesn’t drink the stuff, there’s something vindicating about it. Some say it’s tough to come out as queer, others say coming out as conservative is hardest, but in this over-caffeinated nothing is harder than speaking your truth about not liking coffee all that much. When I want to soothe the wounds of social exclusion, I sometimes tell myself that it’s good I’m not relying on it as my main source of energy, that I’m not nursing one of the most unassuming dependencies.

And I don’t think that’s the whole story here. But then again, I can’t help feeling like there’s meaning behind this pattern. Songs about little espresso shots are fun and sexy energy boosts. But coffee cannot escape the shadow of exhaustion it briefly sweeps away. If you are drinking a whole cup, you’re burned out and need some waking up. I wonder if, on some level, coffee can’t help pointing to some of the shittier reasons for its popularity.

This might be my most insane post yet. If you have any happy coffee songs, please let me know. I need to know if this is all in my head.